Gilmore Girls – How Many Kropogs to Cape Cod?

PRE-INTRO SCENE: LORELAI’S HOUSE (LORELAI ON PHONE)

(VACUUM CLEANER NOISE IN BACKGROUND; LORELAI CONCENTRATING ON VACUUM CLEANER MOVING)

RORY’S DORM: (RORY ON PHONE; CONCENTRATING ON SAME MODEL VACUUM CLEANER MOVING)

LORELAI: So is this more or less fun then watching the same TV show at the same time?

RORY: I think it’s more.

LORELAI: You know if we died right now, and decomposed, it would vacuum us up, and no one would ever know.

RORY: Freaky.

(INTRO)

SCENE 1: YALE; RORY’S DORM (PARIS SINGING)

PARIS: I’m walking on sunshine, woah, I’m walking on sunshine, woah, I’m walking on sunshine, woah, and don’t it feel good? Hey! Alright-

RORY: Hey!

PARIS: What?

RORY: Learn a new song or I’m tying you to a chair and putting “Hotel Rwanda” on again.

PARIS: It’s love baby, deal.

RORY: (REFERRING TO PARIS’S HAIRBRUSH) You’re not going to use that as a microphone, are you?

PARIS: Oh no reverend, has the town banned dancing and singing? (SMILES) I’m really happy.

RORY: Doyle, I assume?

PARIS: You know he calls me his girlfriend now with no visiblе shaking.

RORY: I’m happy you’re happy.

PARIS: How are things with Logan?

RORY: You want to hand me that hairbrush?

PARIS: Look at us. Wе’re happy. We have boyfriends. This is infinitely better than any mood stabilizer I have ever been on.

KNOCK ON DOOR

RORY: Oh, shoot. What time is it?

PARIS: It’s hammer time.

RORY: It’s Logan. Hairbrushes down. You got it?

RORY WALKS TOWARDS DOOR AND OPENS IT; LOGAN IS STANDING AT THE DOORWAY THEN WALKS TOWARDS RORY

LOGAN: Evening Ace.

RORY: Hi.

RORY AND LOGAN KISS

PARIS: Nice, very nice.

RORY AND LOGAN STOP KISSING; RORY TURNS HER HEAD AROUND TO LOOK AT PARIS

RORY: Hey, you want to see my room? It’s far away from here.

LOGAN: Super idea.

RORY AND LOGAN GO INTO RORY’S ROOM; RORY AND LOGAN START KISSING

RORY: Hello.

LOGAN: Hello.

RORY: What are you thinkin’ about?

LOGAN: Whether or not you’ve ever woken up with Paris standing over you with a knife.

RORY: Not recently. She’s been in a good mood.

LOGAN: Why’s that?

RORY: Because she’s in love.

LOGAN: With Doyle?

RORY: Yes, with Doyle. And do not mock or make fun because when Paris is happy, the whole world is happy. But when she’s not happy the world is “Deadwood”.

LOGAN: Got it, you hungry?

RORY: Yes, I’m starving. Just let me get my sweater.

RORY OPENS HER CLOSET AND PULLS OUT HER SWEATER AND A DRESS

RORY: Hey, what do you think of this dress? Does it look newspaper-y enough?

LOGAN: What?

RORY: I’m trying to figure out what to wear to my first day on the paper.

LOGAN: Ah, the internship rears it’s ugly head again.

RORY: I want to look professional but not too Lois Laney. And I don’t wan’t to look like a college kid.

LOGAN: You are a college kid.

RORY: Not on Monday. On Monday, I am a newspaper woman and I have to look like a newspaper woman.

LOGAN: Whatever you wear will be fine.

RORY: I’m so excited!

RORY PUTS DRESS BACK IN CLOSET

LOGAN: I can tell.

RORY: Ah, last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I googled your father.

LOGAN: Excuse me?

RORY: Twelve thousand fifty-three items came up.

RORY PICKS UP A BUNCH OF PAPERS

I could only pull up a couple thousand but it really helped.

STARTS FLIPPING TROUGH PAGES

He was born in 1953, Episcopalian, second of four children, oldest boy, Yale undergrad, star of the track team, no grad school, interesting. Then he had a couple of lost years, kind of a blank period, a little Jesus thing going on there. Worked as a reporter and editor for two of the Huntzberger papers before taking over as CEO of the company.

LOGAN: Uh-

RORY: I mean, when you look at all of his accomplishments the man must never sleep.

LOGAN: Well-

RORY: Uh, mmm-hmm. Four hours a night, just like Clinton.

LOGAN: You don’t have a wall in a secret room with pictures of my father pasted all over it, do you?

RORY: Logan, I’m going to be interning for him. I need to know everything about him. Is he an egghead? Because he seems very roll-up-the-sleeves-y. But he’s written about everything from foreign affairs, domestic policies. He had a wine collumn for God’s sake. I should learn more about wine.

LOGAN: Look Rory-

RORY: What are his politics? He’s unbelievably neutral in his writing. Right-wing, left-wing, middle-wing? Oh, the man was short-listed for the Pulitzer for covering the Iranian hostage crisis when he was twenty-five.

LOGAN: Yeah, I heard something about that.

RORY: Twenty-five, how did he do that? Especially considering his lost years. He’s a born journalist. I mean, what does he read? What papers, what journals? Come on, tell me somethin’.

LOGAN: He hates peas.

RORY: Logan, I need your help here.

LOGAN: Rory, my Dad and I basically have two conversations. Logan you’re not living up to you’re potential and Logan, when you’re sailing close hauled wait until you gain that last bit of boat speed before you pull in the jib’s sheet. That’s it.

RORY: But-

LOGAN: Ace! You’ve learned more about my father in one day than I’ve learned my whole life. Don’t worry, you’re gonna be fine. Now I’d thought we’d established we’re both starving.

RORY: Yes, we have. Lets Go.

RORY SIGHS AND SETS HER PAPERS BACK ON THE DESK AND FOLLOWS LOGAN TO THE DOOR, THEN GOES BACK TO WRITE SOMETHING DOWN

RORY: Oh, wait! Your Dad covered Haiti in 1985. Must learn more about Haiti. Got it. Okay, let’s go.

RORY HEADS TO THE DOOR

RORY: Hey, have I ever discussed Pinochet with him? Because one time, he wrote-

LOGAN: Peas, Ace, peas.

RORY: Right, sorry.

RORY AND LOGAN GO OUT RORY’S BEDROOM DOOR